We at Creative Learning for Healers have been spending a lot of time discussing the term ‘self-care’ recently. Unsurprising given that teaching health care workers how to care for self during these challenging times is a fundamental tenet of our business model, yet we are becoming increasingly discontented with the term ‘self-care’. More accurately, we are becoming increasingly discontented with what the term has frequently come to mean in popular culture.
We started to dig into the self-care concept more in recent seminars. We asked attendees to share their ideas of self-care and, more importantly, their barriers to practicing self-care. Repeatedly we heard time, money, feelings of selfishness or guilt were all perceived barriers. The responses reinforced our issue with the term; that self-care was something that required time and money (think massage, weekend get-away, trip to the spa) and we weren’t practicing them on a consistent basis because nobody has an excess of either of these.
The definition of self-care from Oxford Languages is “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress”. Nowhere in there does it mention the requirement time or money. Nothing in that sentence should make us feel selfish or guilty. In fact, it feels empowering to take an active role in my own self-preservation.
For me, self-care recalls Dr. Jean Watson’s Theory of Human Caring, specifically Caritas Process® #1.While ultimately all Caritas Processes® require personal attention and practice before we can apply the caring concepts to others, #1 makes it explicit – Cultivating a practice of loving kindness and equanimity towards self and others (emphasis mine). It recognizes that if we aren’t consistently practicing loving kindness and caring for ourselves first, there is no way we can continue to sustain our care and compassion for others. And after the past few years we feel it!
The other concept, in both this Process and the above definition, that strikes me is that of cultivating a practice. Just like every other practice or habit I have, both intentional and unintentional, it is born of repetition. Intentionally repeating something over and over until it becomes so engrained in my routine and behavior that I don’t even think about it, I just do it. Even the practice of brushing my teeth morning and night was cultivated…albeit mostly by my parents reminding me it was non-negotiable…but it is so engrained in my routine that I can practically do it in my sleep. In fact, some mornings I think I have.
With these ideas in mind I've started to shift my language away from ‘self-care’ to ‘care practices’. I have started to reframe the way I think of it from a time-consuming, costly, occasional activity to active, consistent, routine practices that I can do many times throughout the day in 5 minutes or less. In fact, mindfully brushing my teeth for two minutes morning and night while expressing gratitude is indeed one of my care practices.
What is a care practice that you have? Can you think of a quick care practice to begin cultivating to protect your well-being? I invite you to with us in the Comments below. We’d love to hear from you.
Watson, J. (2008). Nursing: The Philosophy and Science of Caring, Revised Edition (Revised ed.). University Press of Colorado.
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