As we’ve been exploring in this series, there are many paths to building resilience. In this article we’ll explore how and why we can build resilience through gratitude as one of those paths. Practicing gratitude isn’t just about being polite; it’s a transformative process that can reshape our perspective, enhance our well-being, feel more connected to those around us, and build resilience. Here’s how gratitude could be a cornerstone in the architecture of our inner strength and some creative ways to weave it into the fabric of our daily lives.
What Gratitude is…and what it isn’t
Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology and a leading expert on gratitude defines it as ‘an affirmation of goodness’. When we practice gratitude, we shift our focus from what we may feel is missing to what is present, and good, in our current situation. Practicing gratitude is not intended to minimize the difficulties we are, or have, experienced. And it is most certainly not toxic positivity, which is the practice of suppressing or avoiding difficult emotions in favor of false reassurances that everything is good. Rather, gratitude is the act of pausing, intentionally searching for, and recognizing the moments of goodness, even in times of darkness.
How does it work? The Resilience-Gratitude Connection
Cultivating a practice of gratitude can literally rewire our brains. Neuroscientists are finding more and more ways that we can boost our neuroplasticity (build new neural connections) well into advanced age, and the practice of gratitude is just one of those ways. Through a process called cognitive reappraisal, or reframing, the intentional act of looking for, recognizing and expressing moments of goodness helps us change the way we think and experience situations over time. We can learn to gain control over our perspective. Too often we believe that external circumstances dictate our emotional responses and well-being, but cognitive reappraisal shows us that we do have control. And that’s good news!
We need to remember that our brains evolved toward a negativity bias, which was designed to keep us safe. Seeing the world through a filter of danger and skepticism helped to keep the species alive. Yet focusing only on the difficult situations and perceived negative events throughout our day is not healthy and can lead to fear, anxiety and burnout. The practice of gratitude helps build resilience by supporting and developing our active coping mechanisms. It encourages us to approach, rather than avoid, our problems and concerns. In facing our stressors, and looking for the moments of goodness amongst them, we can learn to control and temper our reactions towards them in ways that that bring more peace and resilience to our lives.
Gratitude as a Daily Practice
Gratitude isn’t a one-time event; it’s a habit that requires cultivation. Just like we can’t build our biceps by lifting weights only every few months, we can’t build our neural connections and resilience by practicing gratitude sporadically either. Our practice must be intentional and consistent to help overcome our brains natural tendency toward negativity.
Here are some creative ways to practice and express gratitude daily. Pick one and try it out for a week or two; see how it feels. If it doesn’t resonate with you, try a different one. Or mix and match practices daily. What is important to you brain and your well-being is that you do it, not how you do it. Your practice doesn’t have to be perfect to realize the benefits. Keep exploring until you find something that fits:
1. Gratitude Journaling: The idea of journaling can seem daunting to some, but it doesn’t have to be a lengthy or complicated endeavor. You can simply begin or end your day by jotting down three things you’re grateful for. The simple act of bullet-pointing three things can shift your mindset and set a positive tone for your day or a peaceful closure for your night. Going deeper and journaling in more detail, however, encourages more vivid processing of memories, reactivating feelings. And it’s in the feelings, not just the thoughts, where the magic lies.
2. Gratitude Jar: Create a jar where you can drop notes of gratitude throughout the year. On tough days, or at the end of the year, read through them to remind yourself, and relive the renewing emotions of the good times and lessons learned.
3. Gratitude Meditation: Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditate on the things you’re thankful for. This can help reduce stress and increase feelings of contentment. Even as little as two minutes can make a noticeable difference. Pause, breathe and reflect.
4. Gratitude Notes: Write personalized notes of gratitude to people who have made a difference in your life. It’s a heartfelt way to acknowledge their impact and strengthen your relationships. A gratitude text message can also be just as unexpected and meaningful in this digital age.
5. Gratitude Walks: Take a walk and observe the beauty around you. Engage all your senses as you ground yourself in the present and notice the little things that you rush past every day. Whether it’s nature, a beautiful building, or people, find something to appreciate and be thankful for.
6. Gratitude Photos: Snap a daily photo of something in your life that you are grateful for. Maybe it’s your pet, your morning cup of coffee or that sweet parking spot you snagged at work. Anything that brings a sense of appreciation in the moment. Organize the photos in a folder on your phone and look at them when you need a mood pick-me-up.
7. Gratitude Alarms: Set random alarms throughout the day as reminders to pause and think of something you’re grateful for. It’s a quick way to reset your mood and focus.
8. Gratitude Visits: Make a surprise visit to someone you’re grateful for and tell them in person. It’s a powerful way to express your appreciation and deepen your connection. It can also help to build your social support network which is another way to help sustain your resilience as discussed in the last blog post.
9. Gratitude Challenges: Challenge yourself and others to a week of gratitude. Share your experiences and reflections with the group to inspire, and be inspired, and encourage a collective practice of thankfulness.
10. Creative Expression: Use your variety of gratitude practices to spark your creativity. Decorate your gratitude jar or journal, make a collage of your gratitude photos, create your own gratitude cards before you send them, draw/doodle/paint a representation of your gratitude. The options for creative expression for grounding yourself in your gratitude.
The Ripple Effect of Gratitude on Building Resilience
When we consistently express gratitude, we not only uplift ourselves and those around us, but we can rewire our brains to a more easily recognize the moments of goodness in our lives. It creates a ripple effect that can transform our environment into a more positive and supportive space. By practicing gratitude, we’re not just building our resilience; we’re contributing to a more resilient world.
Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you.” It’s a strategy for living that can help us navigate life’s storms with grace and emerge stronger. By incorporating gratitude into our daily routines, we fortify our resilience and discover the enduring power of a thankful heart.
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